Thank you so much for all the thoughtful and empathetic emails and comments.  I can’t tell you how much I appreciate you all reaching out.  I’m still trying to accept that she’s really gone.  On a throw rug near my desk there’s still one little paw print indentation  and I can’t bring myself to shake out that rug.   It’s as if it’s the last solid reminder that she was a living, breathing creature just a few days ago.

Over the years we’ve remained close with our breeder and she sent the most perfectly worded email yesterday.  Here’s a section of it:

You’ll never get over her, but she won’t be so, “in the moment” as she is right now and I know it doesn’t seem that way for now. I still can remember with tears each one of my dogs passing. Remembering the eyes, so full of love and admiration for you and with full confidence in you doing the right thing for them, no human deserves such devotion and yet the special dogs in our lives readily give it without reservation. That’s a heavy responsibility and one we end up accepting time and again because of the specialness of that kind of relationship.

My mom sent me a cute shot she had taken of Hannah and Jack last month when she was visiting…

And funnily enough, right after she took those pictures here in Oregon, she saw my sister’s family in North Carolina and took this photo of my nephew Tom with his dog Annabelle.  You’ve got to love a boy and his dog…

Onto happier thoughts….

So the cat is out of the bag now about the Ali kit!  I meet with her on Thursday to finalize everything with the kit.  She’s got some really fun things planned but you are going to have to wait a bit longer to find out.  I love a secret!

So what did you think of this month’s CK?  It was so fun to see so many familiar faces in the magazine.  Of course there was Ali’s column — great as always!  Mou had some beautiful layouts and Emilie Ahern, our guest designer for May, had a really cute layout across from one of Mou’s.   And… I loved seeing that Little Monkeys made it as one of the latest and greatest products!  Way to go Susan!!  My copy of Ashley Calder’s Scraptastic arrived in the mail today and I can’t wait to find a little free time to delve into it.  Along with my copies of Simple Scrapbooks and Scrapbooks Etc arriving as well, it’s been akin to scrapbook reading heaven around here for me!

Yesterday was my birthday.  I am thankful that Hannah didn’t die on my birthday but having just lost her two days earlier, I really wasn’t in a celebratory mode.  Also, I don’t think 39 makes you want to jump up and shout “hurray!” anyway….  We just stayed home and Scott picked up some Thai takeout and a deliciously decadent, dense chocolate cake.  The kids were very excited about singing happy birthday and most importantly, eating cake and licking candles!

Generally for Christmas, birthdays and other such gift giving occassions I receive incredibly romantic gifts from Scott like office chairs, bread knives, cutting boards, tool kits, and even a fanny pack once!  Occassionally he does manage to throw me a curve ball when he comes up with that just right gift.   This was one of those years…  He gave me this:

And this:

Now that I no longer need to listen to music on the boombox my parents gave me my senior year of college, I feel like I’ve finally entered the 21st century!  Thanks Scott!!!!

We lost Hannah girl this morning.  She had been doing so much better for the past two weeks that I was beginning to think that maybe we might actually have her for quite some time.  We were beginning to wonder how we were going to work it when Scott’s parents came out next month and we needed to meet them in Washington.  Sadly, it’s not an issue.

She woke up this morning and almost immediately began repeatedly vomiting pools of blood.  There was absolutely no question what needed to be done.  I am so sorry that she had to go through; I’m sure it must have been  terribly painful; it was painful enough to see it happening to her.  But, I am thankful at the same time that there was no debate as to whether or not it was actually time to let her go.

It’s going to be so strange not to hear her little patter through the house, to have a bark warn me that there’s someone at the door, no constant companion, no driving or walking buddy and no one to clean the crumbs off of the floor.  I do feel  fortunate though that we get those two extra unexpected weeks to love her and feed her SIX pounds of treats!  I really needed that extra time to appreciate her and to spend ever moment I could with her.   And in some small way, to get use to the idea of her no longer being here.

Today is some of the oddest weather we’ve seen since moving to Oregon seven and a half years ago.  We woke up to a blanket of snow this morning and since then we’ve had spots of sunshine, rain, sleet and marble sized hail.  It makes me feel as if Mother Earth is mourning with us.  Reassuring in a way.

Goodbye Hannah….

Ahhhh…. I feel like I can actually breathe this morning!   Hannah survived the weekend.  I swear she must have gotten wind that we had the vet scheduled to come out to do the deed on Sat morning.  That morning she suddenly came back to life.

(Growing up we had a dauschund with this 6th sense that let her know when it was a vet day.  Without fail she’d run away and you can not believe how fast those little legs could move!  My mother would send us out to search for her and we would roam the neighborhood screaming for the dog.  She had the unfortunate name of Freedom.  I’m sure anyone new to the neighborhood (it was an Army post so not an uncommon occurrence) must have thought we were obsessed children as we ran around the neighborhood shouting out our desire for “Freedom!”)

Hannah must have temporarily inherited that gift.  I think the fistfuls of treats she’s receiving countless times a day are also playing into it.  I think all those extra calories are helping.  She’s now even going up and down the stairs and did a 5 and then a 10 minute walk yesterday.  I know it’s only a temporary reprieve but I’ll take what I can get!

For the first time in two and a half weeks both kids are in school!  That makes for one happy mommy.  Alice seemed to be coming down with yet another sore throat and ear infection over the weekend but luckily this morning she seemed well enough to head into school.

Now the only ailment to contend with her is Scott’s nasty eye.  He currently is sporting an uncanny resemblance to Igor from Young Frankenstein.  His eye seems to be bugging out and almost swollen shut at the same time.  LOVELY.  I know it must be really bothering him as he actually called and made an appointment to be seen.  Like most men it usually takes weeks of pestering for him to do that.  I would have included a photo if he would have let me…

Off to buy more rawhide bones and mounds of treats and then to pick the kiddies up.

Hope you’re having a good Monday too!

There is actually a momentary break in the rain right now so the kids are outside playing.  I’m so glad they are able to enjoy it.  Sun has been even more scare than usual during the last few weeks.  Apparently they better enjoy it because this is supposed to be the only break until next week!  Won’t the Easter egg hunt be fun?

Last Friday I took Hannah in for a follow-up visit and to get her stitches out.  Adding to her woes she had a staph infection at the site but fortunately she seems to be healing from that now.  They also did another platelet count and last night the vet called with the results.  Not good.  Even with a week and a half of steroids there was zero improvement in her count.  Fortunately he wasn’t telling us we should run more tests or try any aggressive treatments.  I was thankful for that.  Hannah is my baby and I want her around as long as possible, but I am not going to put her through anything radical.  Our primary vet told us now it’s just a matter of quality of life.  She seems a bit more tired than usual but how do you really tell with a dog that generally sleeps most of the day anyway?  She still wants her walk each day.  Hopefully we’ll have her around for several more months.  But, that call last night really hit home.  Until then I could imagine that she was actually going to be ok.  Not now.  I thought I was prepared for it, but I wasn’t really.  She’s been such an amazing dog it is going to be so hard to let her go.  I can’t imagine not having her quirky little self around.  I’m planning to spoil her rotten from here on out.  Treats and cheese whenever she wants it!  And lots of pats too.

Here’s Hannah on a better day…

I was looking through some older photos to find this of Hannah and came across this one.  Can you believe that’s Alice?  Jack never seemed to change but she looks like a completely different child (other than the eyes)! And man, was she ever roly-poly!!

As for me, I was going to take a photo of the new do today.  But… I tried to leave it curly today.  Mistake.  It is literally sticking out 5″ from the side of my head (yep, that’s the thinned out version!!).  I’ll do a not-so-natural version tomorrow and take a photo!

Wow!  I just looked at the date of my last post and it’s definitely been a while!  I feel like I’ve lost the last month of my life and the blog became a victim of that!

Things started to get crazy when we started getting set for the CK Portland convention.  It was an incredible amount of work and it seemed that everything that could go wrong, did go wrong.  Including Wendy’s husband finding out that he had to go to Ireland for the entire week leading up to the show until the day after the show.  That pretty much put her out of commission that week.  Fortunately my mother came to town to watch our kids and she was sweet enough to watch Wendy’s Teagan as well!  Aren’t mom’s the best???  Somehow we managed to pull it all together and I think we did a fairly good job of it!  We were pleased with the way the booth came out and with the way the show went in general.  I think the best part was meeting several of our subscribers in person!  After communicating for so long by email and phone it was so nice to put a face with the name!

The next week was a total blur — We got home about 10 pm Saturday night.  We spent the morning trying to bring some semblance of order to everything that we brought to Portland (ie semi-neat piles in the garage), went out to breakfast and then threw a birthday party in the evening for little Alice!

(Nothing like opening your present in your underwear!)

I can’t believe she is already 3!!!  It turned out be a smaller party than the small party we had planned.  My friend’s twins were both sick so they weren’t able to come so it was just one other family (their youngest is Alice’s best friend and is only 2 days younger), her former babysitter and her Marmee (my mother).  And it was perfect!  Alice’s friend Lily gave her a stamp set and Marmee gave her paint daubers (do you think she’ ll be a scrapbooker one day?) so the four kids sat at the table for an hour creating artwork.

Monday I actually spent a bit of time with my mother — lunch and a little shopping.  My mom actually found THE perfect throw rug for the entryway that matches my living room unbelieveable well!  Monday was also dealing with the repair man for GE who told me it was almost impossible to get GE to buy back an appliance.  We just replaced the previous dishwasher in November because it was recalled as it was a fire hazard.  Then our replacement melts down.  Our GE hood microwave is under recall because it’s a fire hazard.  Hmmm…. I don’t think I’m feeling that confident in their appliances anymore.  I spent most of the time that I wasn’t out with my mom on the phone with GE and the store we bought it from trying to figure out how we could get our money back so that we could buy a different brand. No one was very sympathetic with our position; they just wanted to repair the machine.  Ever so slightly frustrating!

Tuesday was spenting working to get everyone’s kits out the door.  Then that evening I noticed Hannah’s (our dog)face was bleeding.  I tried to get under all the fur without much luck, but it looked like she had a gash in her face.  I knew I’d be gone most of the next day in Portland taking my mother to the airport so I decided not to mess around and took her to the emergency vet.  It turns out it was a uclerative mass that wouldn’t stop bleeding.  They wanted to remove it immediately.  They did blood work before the surgery and it turned out she had really low platelets.  They said that was either indicative of cancer or her body was attacking herself and causing the low platelets.  Either way, the dog that we thought was incredibly healthy for almost 11 (briards only live to be 10-11) probably isn’t.  I think this episode is signaling the beginning of the end.  Not a happy thought when it pertains to our very loved pooch!

Then to top that day off I got a call from our babysitter.  She was supposed to watch the kids in the morning so that I wouldn’t have to drag the kids to Portland with me.  Turns out she had so many unpaid parking tickets that she got a boot on her car and wouldn’t be able to get it off until the following day.

So, the next day, I drag the kids to Portland.  It was too much for Alice.  She was already pretty sick and that put her over the edge.  That evening she started saying really odd things and she was burning up.  I took her temp and it was 104.6!  I called her pediatrician and he told me to bring her into the emergency room.  Yay, a second night in an emergency room waiting room!  After 3 hours we found out that she had a nasty ear infection.  Poor baby…

The rest of the week sort of went along the same vein.   I was so glad when it was over as I was giving serious consideration to going out and buying my own straight jacket!!

This Monday, the store we bought the dishwasher called and offered to buy back the dishwasher!  That was a huge relief!  Then the next day we got another call.  The week before Scott had filed a report with the Consumer Product Safety Commission.  When I had talked to GE they were thoroughly nasty, but, once Scott filed that, the whole tone changed.  The call was from the chairman’s office, wanting to buy back the dishwasher!  Very interesting….  I’m happy to report our new kitchenaid was installed Thursday and is happily running right now!

Worked all morning with Lisa getting the April kit assembled.  Yesterday I had Pam and Megan over helping as well and we all think this is our favorite yet!  Hope you feel the same way!  I’m hoping I can get Scott to take photos in a few minutes and I can get those posted today.  (He’s doing it right now!)

I got a wild hair (I guess the pun IS intended) and decided I couldn’t stand dealing with my hair.  I made an appointment to get it all chopped off for Locks of Love.  I had originally planned to get it go a few more months but, I tend to be a spontaneous person and I just went with it.  Now I’m looking forward to about 2 yrs from now when my hair is long again!  My main motivation for getting it chopped was I wanted a style.  I felt like it was just there and I wanted a pick-me-up.  I love my hairstylist/former neighbor so I trusted him and let him do what he thought would be best.  But… instead of being being edgy and fun, I look like a frumpy old lady!  So, brain child that I can be, I thought to myself, “Wouldn’t it be a good idea to go somewhere else and see if they can style it a bit different to make it more fun.”  Made an appointment at a place that I know friends with cute hair had gone to.  Apparently they had not gone to that stylist.  I let her talk me into thinning my hair, but that was it.  That might just have been a mistake.  I’m not sure yet because her flat iron was so bad that my hair now looks worse than when I went in.  I don’t know if the ends feel all wierd because they are semi-flat ironed or because they are just going to feel that way because of what she did.  Here’s the kicker.  It was $10.  Perhaps I should have asked her her prices beforehand because I certainly wasn’t on the lookout for someone who would do a $10 job!

Bottom line — they put my hair into 4 braids yesterday (they said each was equivalent to what most people have on their head) and it will all hopefully be used for a good cause.  And.  It’s only hair.  Maybe I look like crap for a bit but it will grow back.  I’ll show you I photo after I, the non-hair-doer, flat irons it.  Even I am going to be able to do a better job than her!

Here’s the before (is it apparent that I’m totally exhaused?)

Well, at least we have fun plans for the night!  The kids are going to our gym for parents’ night out.  They set up all these inflatables and they have a blast.  We are kicking off the inauguration of our dinner club.  It’s 6 couples and we’ll go out to dinner once a month.  Should be fun!