It’s 12:30 at night and I am wide awake. Apparently my internal sleep clock did not realize that I’ve started a new regime, one in which I actually sleep. Instead of sleeping I’m surfing the net. In my quest for the inane I came across another list circulating on Facebook — one about you and your spouse. And I figured, why not?
What are your middle names?
Mary and Scott. He goes by his middle name. I don’t recommend subjecting your children to this one — especially in the wake of 9/11. He has idenitification in the form of J. Scott, John S. and John Scott. Before 9/11 it was a nuisance, but not a huge concern. Now airline tickets must match exactly to your id and so must frequent flier numbers. If your name on your ticket doesn’t match your name on your frequent flier account then you won’t get credit for that round trip to Europe that could have gotten you halfway to a free ticket!
How long have you been together?
April 9th is the 17th anniversary of our first date. And we’ve been married for 12 and a half years.
How long did you know each other before you started dating?
We met at a party and I think we went on our first date 5 days later.
Who asked whom out?
We had been talking for several hours at the party. He had gone to West Point and I lived there at the same time while I was in high school so we knew quite a few people in common. That helped to keep the conversation going (and the fact that my father had been in charge of his regiment!). He went to the bathroom and I headed to the door. My hand was on the door to leave when he yelled, “Wait! Do you want to go out some time?” He said I sort of made a face and said “well… ok.” It was not love at first sight. Who would have ever guessed such innocuous beginnings would have led to where we are 17 years later?
How old are you?
Scott is 43, soon to be 44 and I am still in my thirties (at least for a couple more weeks).
Whose siblings do you see the most?
We are on the west coast and our families are on the east so we don’t see any of our siblings frequently. We are still waiting for one of my brothers and Scott’s sister to actually come to Oregon to see us. It’s only been 8 and a half years we’ve been out here — don’t want to rush things! We usually go east once or twice a year and generally we are able to see all of our siblings on those trips.
What situation is the hardest on you as a couple?
Finding balance between family and work. I think this is probably one of the hardest things for many couples. If anyone has figured out the secret to perfect balance, I’d love to hear it!
Did you go to the same school?
No, but we’ve lived in 3 different common locations, does that count? Scott went to West Point undergrad and Colorado School of Mines for grad school and I went to Xavier University undergrad and to the University of Denver for my grad work.
Are you from the same hometown?
Nope, we are both Army brats though. And strangely, we both have a parent that grew up in NJ and then another parent that grew up in farm country.
Who is smarter?
Scott, hands down. And he is well-rounded smart. He can as easily figure out a complicated calculus equation as write an eloquent article. My brain only functions in words, not numbers. On top of that, I don’t think Scott has ever forgotten a line from any movie he has ever watched. I can barely tell you what book I just read.
Who is the most sensitive?
He was an Army Ranger. I was not. Need I say more?
Where do you eat out most as a couple?
That’s actually somewhat of a tough one. In the last year or so we haven’t been getting out all that much as just a couple so when we do go out, we usually want to go and try something we haven’t gone to in a while. Mostly we are out with the kids and that of course means something pretty basis — mexican or pub grub.
Where is the furthest you have traveled together as a couple?
Shortly after we started dating we traveled through Europe together –along with Scott’s best friend. The two of them had been planning their trip together for years and I, after spending the previous year in Paris, wanted to get back so I had planned to travel by myself through Europe for the summer. Traveling with them was definitely far more fun than being by myself.
Three years ago Scott was sent over to Singapore for 2 months. My mom was kind enough to watch a 3 yr old and 8 month old so that I could go join him for 12 days. While there we were also able to get to Hong Kong and Phuket.
Who has the worst temper?
Scott never loses it. He gets angry but he’s always able to hold it together (well, almost always). I definitely inherited the Irish temper. One time he did lose it was during our ice cream sandwich fight. Doesn’t every couple have something along these lines? We were driving across country in a u-haul. The AC wasn’t really working, it was HOT, the radio sucked and we were on day 3 and just ready to be there. At the Raton Pass in New Mexico he got an ice cream sandwich. He asked if I wanted one. I said no, but could I have a couple bits of his? Sure he said. We got back in the truck and as we are driving along he eats his ice cream sandwich. Without offering me a single bite. He gets down to the last bite and I snottily say, “thanks for sharing.” He’s caught off guard and says, “here, take it.” And I say, “I don’t want it!” And then he says “Take it — or I’ll throw it out the window!” We continue to go back and forth like this until the last bite does go out the window and we don’t talk for the next four hours. There has never been an ice cream sandwich in the car since.
Who does the cooking?
We go in waves. We are both pretty decent cooks, it’s just a matter of who’s more into at the moment. When I was trying to avoid writing my dissertation — I was creating extravagant gourmet meals every night. For the last couple of years, it’s mostly been Scott. For the last few weeks however, it’s mostly been me.
Who is the neat freak?
Let’s just say, I think one of the apartments Scott lived in while we were dating was not dusted the entire year he lived there. He is usually very tidy, but he is no neat freak.
Who is more stubborn?
Oh, that would be me. But, if you are Irish/German and a taurus, do you have any possibility of NOT being stubborn?
Who is the bed hog?
Ok, that would be me again. But, I’m married to a man that has slept standing up, leaning against a tree in the middle of a freezing rain storm. The man can literally sleep anywhere so he doesn’t seem to mind that I need more than my fair share of the bed.
Who wakes up earlier?
Scott is up every morning by 6. He likes his 45 minutes of peace and quiet to down his pot of coffee and read the paper. At least it used to be 45 minutes of quiet before Daisy came along. Because he’s an early riser also means that I’m usually able to sleep in on the weekends while he makes the kids waffles.
Where was your first date?
It was in Columbus, GA and we were supposed to have gone to some alternative theater to see a play. Only we never found it. Instead, we went to see “My Cousin Vinny” and got a coke at McDonald’s. Very romantic.
Who is more jealous?
He is. I could care less but he wants to pretend like I never dated anyone before him and he refuses to talk about ex-girlfriends — even now, 17 years later!
How long did it take to get serious?
9 months after we started dating, he moved to Colorado from Georgia. A year and a half later, I followed. A year and a bit after that he moved to Maine. The night before that move I asked him if he ever saw us getting married. His exact words were, “Whoa, you’re putting the cart before the horse!” This, after 3 and a half years of dating, 1 move and 1 more expected move. No, things did not get officially serious with us for a while.
Who eats more?
Scott does. Of course there are a few expections like if there’s rocky road ice cream, chocolate chip cookies or brownies involved. In those cases I have been known to put away large quantities.
Who does the laundry?
I do. Occassionally Scott will decide to “help out.” That means that he will take the clothes from the dryer and dump them on the couch. He will then put a load in the washer and turn it on. Once that had gone through the dryer, it too will be dumped on the couch. I prefer that he not “help.”
Who is better with a computer?
If I said that there have been countless calls to Scott at work over the years demanding that he assess why the computer is not doing what I want it to do, would that be enough of a clue?
Who drives when you are together?
Last year someone asked Jack what puking was. His answer — “That’s what my sister does when my daddy drives us to the coast!” I like to arrive at my destination with my guts intact and without the kids covered in vomit so I am usually the one who drives.
I’d love to see your responses! And now that I’ve managed to lose yet another hour of sleep I think I’ll go try it again and maybe obsess about what a cool scrapbook page this could be turned into!
